Maria Montessori asked us to let go of our preconceived notions.

I thought I had.

But children have an uncanny ability to push on our sensitive points, sometimes the ones we know about, and sometimes the ones we didn’t even know we had.

Mine was sleep.

The moment I found out I was pregnant, I started re-reading everything I could about infant sleep. I had a plan. My son would be sleeping independently by two or three months, much as was common in France, where I grew up. Independent sleep felt not just practical but important.

As I like to say, if you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.

When my son was three months old, he experienced a medical event that completely changed our sleeping plans. Independent sleep was no longer the right choice for our family, and we had to adapt.

Eventually, when he was ready, he transitioned to a small, crib-sized floor bed in the room next to ours. That room had originally been intended as a temporary nursery. We had always imagined he would later move into the larger bedroom at the other end of our home. But life had other ideas, and having him close simply made the most sense for our family.

The room is small, about 9 by 7 feet, closer to a large walk-in closet than a bedroom, so every inch matters.

Rethinking Sleep and Co-Sleeping

Over the years, I have worked with many families where co-sleeping was simply the norm. The children I observed were not clingy or dependent. They were confident and actually quite autonomous. Those experiences had already made me question whether independent sleep was really the better option for all children, or simply what I had been raised to believe was the healthier, more developmentally sound choice.

But knowing something and living it are not the same thing.

As the months went by, our nights were often interrupted. He was only a few steps away, though I found myself wishing there were an easier solution. I was talking about my son’s wake ups with another mom when she asked me if I had ever considered sleeping in his room. She told me that when her son woke during the night, she would simply join him in his floor bed for the rest of the night.

It was as if a light bulb went on.

Why had I not thought of this before?

I added a mattress next to his floor bed.

It worked.

Well… sort of.

His bedroom was now almost entirely covered in mattresses, and sleeping directly on the floor wasn’t particularly comfortable for me either. It solved one problem, but created another.

I started researching how to make the space work for both of us, something that would let me sleep comfortably too, without giving up the room we had. That was when I started thinking of adding a second sleeping frame, something that could fit and be put away during the day.

A Wider View of Sleep

Our Western expectations around children’s sleep are far from universal. Around the world, sharing a sleeping space with young children is often the norm rather than the exception. In Japan, for example, many families practice soine, sleeping in close proximity with young children. Rather than viewing closeness as something to move away from as quickly as possible, it is often seen as a natural part of early childhood.

Once again, I had to let go of my preconceived notions.

This reminded me of how Gordon Neufeld says that genuine independence doesn’t grow in opposition to attachment. It grows out of it. We cannot rush a child toward independence by withdrawing closeness. Security comes first, and independence follows.

Designing a Flexible Montessori Sleep Space in a Small Room

I started looking for a flexible sleeping arrangement.

My first thought was a tatami mat and futon that I could fold away during the day. But I had read mixed reviews about mold with tatami mats, and honestly, the daily doing and undoing of the bed was not something I could see myself sticking to long term.

A trundle bed seemed like the most obvious solution, but the frame would have been too bulky for such a small room. I also wanted the bed to double as a sofa during the day, and a trundle doesn’t lend itself to that.

Then one day I was watching Never Too Small and came across a sofa with an extendable frame. That was it. That was exactly what I was looking for, but as a floor bed.

I searched for a Montessori expandable floor bed and found nothing.

The only one I came across wasn’t available in the United States, and even if it had been, a twin-to-king configuration wouldn’t have fit without removing the clothing rack, which I wanted to keep. But two RV bunk mattresses, each measuring 30 by 75 inches, placed side by side could work.

So I decided to build it myself.

Building a Montessori Expandable Floor Bed

I love solving problems through design. There is something deeply satisfying about the moment a solution finally reveals itself, when all the constraints line up and something suddenly makes sense.

The frame is finally finished.

Now I have fallen down another rabbit hole: sourcing, or perhaps building, non-toxic mattresses to fit the RV bunk dimensions. I’ll share what I learn once that part of the project is complete.

And if there is enough interest, I’d be happy to walk you through how I built it, the materials, the steps, what I’d do differently. If that’s something you’d like to see, let me know in the comments.

If you are navigating a small space, a tricky layout, or simply want a home that truly works for your whole family, this is exactly the kind of design challenge I love solving with families through Montessori Parent Child Center.