My goal in life is to be a ball tracker. I’m kidding—well, partially. But what’s a ball tracker, you may wonder? It’s a toy with zigzag ramps where balls roll down. Simple, right? But there’s a lot we can learn from a ball tracker.

The Wisdom of the Ball Tracker

A ball tracker is consistent. Day after day, the same balls either fit or don’t fit into its holes. It doesn’t take things personally. If a child keeps trying to push a bigger ball through a hole that’s too small, the ball tracker doesn’t get frustrated. It simply provides feedback: “This ball fits,” or “This ball doesn’t fit.”

This feedback is a learning opportunity. And as parents, we can take a cue from the ball tracker.

The Three Phases of Exploration

In my Parent-Child classes, I’ve observed children go through three distinct phases with the ball tracker:

1. The Experimentation Phase: Younger children start by putting anything they can find into the holes—balls, rattles, cylinders, even cubes. Over time, with repetition, they begin to understand that the ball tracker is meant for balls.
2. The Testing Phase: In this phase, children experiment with all the balls they can find, testing which ones fit and which don’t. This phase can be challenging for parents to watch, especially when a child keeps trying to force a ball that’s clearly too big. But if we stay patient and let the child explore, we see that they don’t get upset. They simply move on to the next ball. This phase, I’ve found, lasts the longest.
3. The Creativity Phase: Eventually, children develop the ability to visually discriminate whether a ball will fit. With this new understanding, they start getting creative—building jams inside the ball tracker by blocking the holes with larger balls. They’ve developed a new physical understanding of their world.

Why You Should Be a Ball Tracker

So, what does this have to do with wanting to be a ball tracker? In my classes, I always tell parents to try to be like a ball tracker: consistent, predictable, and not to take their child’s behaviors personally.

When children test limits, it can be exhausting to stay consistent. It’s hard not to react, and it’s easy to take their behavior as intentional. But remember, discipline is an opportunity for teaching. The more consistent we are, the faster children move through the testing phase and into the next stage of development.

The Power of Consistency

Imagine if one day, the larger balls fit, but the next, they didn’t. Children would stay stuck in the testing phase longer, unable to easily construct a theory of the physical world and focus on their development. Consistent limits and emotionally disengaging from their natural need to test allow children to progress on their own learning journey.

It’s tempting to allow a child to do one thing one day, and not the next. But this lack of predictability can be destabilizing and confusing for a young child. Consistency provides the security they need to explore, learn, and grow.

A Final Thought

So, next time you’re feeling exhausted and frustrated by your child’s incessant testing, try to visualize a ball tracker.Remember, it’s just a phase. It will pass, and your child will thank you for providing them with the stability they need to discover and learn.

Need help navigating your child’s testing phase? Learn more about Oui Montessori parent coaching services.